For as long as I can remember I felt like an orphan, never having a sense of belonging. My parents were disconnected from the earth, each other and life itself. My siblings were lost to confusion as a sailing ship without sails drifting upon currents going nowhere.
In all this chaos I had strong connections not to humanity but to the earth and all the creatures that roamed it. I understood them, they understood me and roam I did. I always had to go somewhere, to explore someplace new, to see new places. I was a quiet observer to the human chaos around me. I spent my time communing with animals where ever they were. They were the only beings that made sense to me. The natural earth was the only home I truly had.
My mother lost as she was, disconnected from who she was joined a religious christian cult when I was 8. I was abused spiritually, brainwashed and then thrown to the wolves. Still no connections. Still and orphan. I did not belong there. It is one of the reasons I am an advocate to free thinking now and can see brainwashing where ever it thrives. It thrives on the lost, on those who do not know who they are and where they came from.
When 34 years old I nearly died from liver and organ failure. I had a misdiagnosed blood disease called hereditary hemochromatosis. My genetic studies showed me having double sets of the mutated gene that caused it. When it was finally diagnosed I was left with a damaged liver. It causes the body to over absorb large amounts of iron that is then stored in the liver, heart, pancreas and even the brain damaging them. The only treatment is to be bled, to remove the excess iron one must remove the blood.
As I learned about my mutations I found that I came from Northern European bloodlines. More recently it has been discovered that the mutation is Viking in origin. Vikings survived to pass this gene on, they fought, they bled, they lived. The largest concentration of people with the mutation are in Iceland, then the northern European countries and followed the paths of the Vikings. As time went on living in hot southern California I developed immune problems and became photosensitive, allergic to the sun. Apparently my DNA has not had time to develop resistance to living here. It is not my true home.
Although my people were scattered they still were drawn to each other as if in their deep inner spirits they knew who they really were. They found each other in the strange new lands they explored. The last migration was from Scotland to Virginia. The farthest my Viking peoples have traveled. I feel a longing to go home now, whatever reasons were to explore the earth, it’s time to go home. To close this chapter of my wandering Viking fathers whose spirits are close to me.
I’ve recently had deeper experiences binding me to my roots. Meeting other Viking kin on social networks, opening myself up to Asatru the original beliefs and experiences of my kin. Most notably a powerful spiritual experience during meditations. A deep feeling of love and kinship enveloped me as many faces appeared to me within just a few seconds of time. Faces I’ve never seen yet I knew who they were. They were my kin, my ancestors reassuring me I was no orphan. The experience showed me how important it is to know ones people, to feel that connection to who we are. They, their DNA their very spirits live within us. We are family, we are loved, we are connected and can not forget them.
No longer an orphan I yearn for a deeper connection to my ancestors who passed these genetic mutations on many generations. I also have dupuytren’s another Viking mutation that causes the hand to contract. I am thankful for these conditions as they served to bring me home to my wandering kin, the Vikings. A fascinating, strong, brave people of many talents and virtues.